I know, been a while. I've been riding the depresso train...meh, meh. I'm here.
Since I am always reading about nutrition, obsessing about calories and such, gluten free or not, dairy good or bad, coffee or no coffee, the list goes on. I've read that it would be good to know the PH of your body, it should be balanced, most of us are not, especially us carnivores, blah, blah, blah.
So I stopped by Target pharmacy the other day and was waited on by the pharmacist on duty since the tech was helping another customer.
Me-"Do you carry PH measuring urine sticks?"
Pharmacist-"Ummm...no, but we have some KETO sticks on that incap over there."
OK, while both kinds could be used by same individuals, they definitely measure different things. Hence the different names.Mind you if I wanted damn KETO sticks I would ask for those. NOT an even substitution lady. Clearly a pharmacist knows the difference.
Did you get your degree online? WTH? Let's say I came to refill my Lipitor prescription...what?! You'd offer me Insulin?
Sometimes I really wonder what is wrong with people...or is it me perhaps?!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Chivalry Ain't Dead..But It Kind Of Is
Even though I am technically an extroverted introvert (meaning I can be around people and I am outspoken, but they really drain my batteries) and I prefer to spend my time with my dog, books, by my lonesome...you get the idea, life never stops giving me crap to make fun of and I LOVE IT! Don't stop life!
I can't take compliments. Pretty much it goes something like this...
"I like your hair that way, looks really nice!"
"Oh, you mean this "new do" of I-went-to gym-and-didn't-feel-like-washing-my-hair-so-I-added-more-hair-spray-to-it?!"
How about a simple "Thank You" and shut my mouth, end of story, nope not me.
Then again perhaps the following excerpt from my life may shed some light on why I will most likely never learn to accept a compliment.
So the other night I am working at the bar and two semi-drunk guys come in. Of course they'd like to socialize as there's no one else there (almost closing time) and I can't leave...awesome. So they ask me what I do for fun...hmmm grocery shop and go to gym (why can't I just lie and say get wasted with my friends in turn avoiding being asked more dumb questions...not I. I mean really who gives a shit what I like to do, drunkasses...and honestly regardless of what I say the conversation will continue, cause they are humans and annoying ones at this point.)
So one of them goes "Yeah, you look like you go to the gym. You got some big thighs."
No, not big eyes...big thighs.
Too bad his IQ wasn't big. Granted my thighs are big enough to crush a baby elephant, they always have been, heavy squats at the gym made them even bigger, but what woman wants to hear the word big when being referred to. It's like men and the word small. Think about it.
Charmer. And thank you for pointing the obvious, idiot. No I didn't get his number...I am sure it was a single digit one ;).
I can't take compliments. Pretty much it goes something like this...
"I like your hair that way, looks really nice!"
"Oh, you mean this "new do" of I-went-to gym-and-didn't-feel-like-washing-my-hair-so-I-added-more-hair-spray-to-it?!"
How about a simple "Thank You" and shut my mouth, end of story, nope not me.
Then again perhaps the following excerpt from my life may shed some light on why I will most likely never learn to accept a compliment.
So the other night I am working at the bar and two semi-drunk guys come in. Of course they'd like to socialize as there's no one else there (almost closing time) and I can't leave...awesome. So they ask me what I do for fun...hmmm grocery shop and go to gym (why can't I just lie and say get wasted with my friends in turn avoiding being asked more dumb questions...not I. I mean really who gives a shit what I like to do, drunkasses...and honestly regardless of what I say the conversation will continue, cause they are humans and annoying ones at this point.)
So one of them goes "Yeah, you look like you go to the gym. You got some big thighs."
No, not big eyes...big thighs.
Too bad his IQ wasn't big. Granted my thighs are big enough to crush a baby elephant, they always have been, heavy squats at the gym made them even bigger, but what woman wants to hear the word big when being referred to. It's like men and the word small. Think about it.
Charmer. And thank you for pointing the obvious, idiot. No I didn't get his number...I am sure it was a single digit one ;).
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Gym Love
By now I think I made it pretty clear that I am a gym rat. No, I am not one of those shredded women that competes in IFBB...I got chocolate issues ;), but I see gym as therapy.
Especially lately, I can spend hours there...yes, I am one of "those people". I gotta say I think I earned respect from my fellow gym goers, I am one of the very few women at the weight room and I am not gonna lie, I can hold my own. (Perhaps I can hold my own a little too much...)
Let me tell you, I do not get approached by anyone really, I am there to work, so I get my "business face" on. However, seems like little old men are not intimidated. There's one in particular that likes to chat (most of them just like to get out of the house and socialize) with me. About what? Well, anything and everything, his blood pressure, his wife, retirement and so on.
Well, today after our little conversation, he decided to give me a hug. I don't love hugs, I especially love hugs from strangers even less, and hugs from little old men that smell like that Cuban cigar cologne are probably top of the list of hugs I don't like (Besides the pervy, cop a feel kind of hugs. This wasn't that kind of hug, thank God.) Still, I smelled like his cologne for the rest of my workout and even after the shower...half a day later, I can still smell it. Wonderful.
However, this is still progress, at least it was a man making conversation with me...70yr old man, man nonetheless. (Last week I was hit on by the girl working out next to me...I do wish I swung that way, seems like I have a very "gay aura".)
Especially lately, I can spend hours there...yes, I am one of "those people". I gotta say I think I earned respect from my fellow gym goers, I am one of the very few women at the weight room and I am not gonna lie, I can hold my own. (Perhaps I can hold my own a little too much...)
Let me tell you, I do not get approached by anyone really, I am there to work, so I get my "business face" on. However, seems like little old men are not intimidated. There's one in particular that likes to chat (most of them just like to get out of the house and socialize) with me. About what? Well, anything and everything, his blood pressure, his wife, retirement and so on.
Well, today after our little conversation, he decided to give me a hug. I don't love hugs, I especially love hugs from strangers even less, and hugs from little old men that smell like that Cuban cigar cologne are probably top of the list of hugs I don't like (Besides the pervy, cop a feel kind of hugs. This wasn't that kind of hug, thank God.) Still, I smelled like his cologne for the rest of my workout and even after the shower...half a day later, I can still smell it. Wonderful.
However, this is still progress, at least it was a man making conversation with me...70yr old man, man nonetheless. (Last week I was hit on by the girl working out next to me...I do wish I swung that way, seems like I have a very "gay aura".)
Friday, September 20, 2013
Arkansas here I come...no not really
I just Googled Jonesboro, Arkansas...according to the Huffington Post it is one of the cheapest cities to live in.
Dear God, kill me now! Arkansas...really, the Bill Clinton state. I am sure it's nowhere near as bad as Ajo, Arizona or the God forsaken Blythe (Jesus what a shithole that is, you gotta stop there on your way to California to fuel up, unless you want to run out of gas, be abducted by some militia group never to be heard from again...most likely end up someone's sister wife or even worse, a practice target...nah scratch that being a wife would be worse), but really, let's get serious. Plus, what would I do there with my charming personality...work in the hardware store with a guy named Hank. Riiight!
I think I should get out of the house, as clearly, I have lost my marbles.
Dear God, kill me now! Arkansas...really, the Bill Clinton state. I am sure it's nowhere near as bad as Ajo, Arizona or the God forsaken Blythe (Jesus what a shithole that is, you gotta stop there on your way to California to fuel up, unless you want to run out of gas, be abducted by some militia group never to be heard from again...most likely end up someone's sister wife or even worse, a practice target...nah scratch that being a wife would be worse), but really, let's get serious. Plus, what would I do there with my charming personality...work in the hardware store with a guy named Hank. Riiight!
I think I should get out of the house, as clearly, I have lost my marbles.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Why Did The Priest Cross The Road?
Today I almost hit a priest with my car. I am not religious and I am not sure of what denomination he was (didn't wear the sign above his head). However, I will go out on the limb and say that he was most likely a Catholic priest...had the black button down shirt, but was missing his clerical collar...so why am I sure he was Catholic? Because that would be just my luck...my grandmother was and she tried to get me accustomed to the spiritual world, but that didn't work out as planned. (Even at six I had too many questions...like the whole Holy Trinity was beyond my grasp at that age...still can't make sense out of it...logically speaking. Do I hear thunder?)
So here he jumps out from Chipotle between parked vehicles right onto the street in front of my car. I have done enough things in my life to be on the fastrack to hell, hitting a priest will not get me any brownie points (perhaps hell...now that I think of it). Considering he ate at Chipotle he most likely needed to get to the restroom, unless of course there was a religious emergency (I am sure they have those). Don't they teach clergy to look both ways before crossing...or was he just thinking "I got God on my side" and I'm gonna go for it.
My heart stopped for a tiny bit. Anyhow, he lived, I am not off to Hell (yet) and everyone lived happily ever after. (Thank Lord my brother replaced my brakes last week, otherwise there would be a church without a sermon this Sunday in Phoenix and I am way to pretty for prison :).)
So here he jumps out from Chipotle between parked vehicles right onto the street in front of my car. I have done enough things in my life to be on the fastrack to hell, hitting a priest will not get me any brownie points (perhaps hell...now that I think of it). Considering he ate at Chipotle he most likely needed to get to the restroom, unless of course there was a religious emergency (I am sure they have those). Don't they teach clergy to look both ways before crossing...or was he just thinking "I got God on my side" and I'm gonna go for it.
My heart stopped for a tiny bit. Anyhow, he lived, I am not off to Hell (yet) and everyone lived happily ever after. (Thank Lord my brother replaced my brakes last week, otherwise there would be a church without a sermon this Sunday in Phoenix and I am way to pretty for prison :).)
To Facebook or Not?
I am not even sure why I chose this as my daily topic. Nevertheless, here it is.
Nowadays it standard practice when hiring to look at candidate's Facebook, LinkedIn or any other social media account. Don't think so?! Try applying for a job, really any job and see if they ask you for your account information.
In all honesty, the hiring firm doesn't even have to have your permission to check up on your stuff, you put it on the world wide web...guess what there's no privacy on the Internet (I know I am giving you invaluable information here...no one knew this until I pointed it out, right?!). Which brings me to my point...so firms disqualify the candidate based on a drunk picture or something else (funny repost, opinion...) posted on their account. Fabulous, but who are they to make these judgment calls number one. Granted they can do anything they want to, but let's think of this..."you never got drunk and inappropriate Mr. HR? And none of your opinions would offend someone?" (not sure about you, I had a a boss once and every time we had a company party she would get wasted to the point of someone had to hold her hair back while she'd projectile vomit in the parking lot, then come Monday and we'd have to pretend nothing happened and she'd have to reassert her power by being a major biatch for few weeks. However, this woman decided if I stayed there or not on a daily basis. Let's just say if I danced on a table at the company gathering in just my undergarments...I most likely wouldn't be returning to work on Monday). Secondly, what does a social media post have to do with the requirements of the position applied for...I am quite sure Bernie Madoff didn't post on his FB account how he was royally fucking everyone...yet, here we are.
So basically, you will reject a candidate based on their Facebook, Twitter and so on account, not their ability to get the job done. Yet someone that has chopped up bodies in their freezer will get that position supported by the fact they do not disclose as much about their life in the social media. (Always beware of the quiet ones! ;))
Practice seems at the very least hypocritical, not to mention unjust. Who made you the police of the social media lonely little HR catlady wearing Mr. Roger's sweater??? Buzzkill. I for example, always like to know what kind of crazy I am dealing with, then again that's just my opinion.
So lesson here is life isn't fair and neither is the HR department, so go lightly on your Facebook posts people or use an alias that would not be so easy to figure out. Now go on, delete all your drunk posts from this weekend and have yourself a fabulous Monday.
Nowadays it standard practice when hiring to look at candidate's Facebook, LinkedIn or any other social media account. Don't think so?! Try applying for a job, really any job and see if they ask you for your account information.
In all honesty, the hiring firm doesn't even have to have your permission to check up on your stuff, you put it on the world wide web...guess what there's no privacy on the Internet (I know I am giving you invaluable information here...no one knew this until I pointed it out, right?!). Which brings me to my point...so firms disqualify the candidate based on a drunk picture or something else (funny repost, opinion...) posted on their account. Fabulous, but who are they to make these judgment calls number one. Granted they can do anything they want to, but let's think of this..."you never got drunk and inappropriate Mr. HR? And none of your opinions would offend someone?" (not sure about you, I had a a boss once and every time we had a company party she would get wasted to the point of someone had to hold her hair back while she'd projectile vomit in the parking lot, then come Monday and we'd have to pretend nothing happened and she'd have to reassert her power by being a major biatch for few weeks. However, this woman decided if I stayed there or not on a daily basis. Let's just say if I danced on a table at the company gathering in just my undergarments...I most likely wouldn't be returning to work on Monday). Secondly, what does a social media post have to do with the requirements of the position applied for...I am quite sure Bernie Madoff didn't post on his FB account how he was royally fucking everyone...yet, here we are.
So basically, you will reject a candidate based on their Facebook, Twitter and so on account, not their ability to get the job done. Yet someone that has chopped up bodies in their freezer will get that position supported by the fact they do not disclose as much about their life in the social media. (Always beware of the quiet ones! ;))
Practice seems at the very least hypocritical, not to mention unjust. Who made you the police of the social media lonely little HR catlady wearing Mr. Roger's sweater??? Buzzkill. I for example, always like to know what kind of crazy I am dealing with, then again that's just my opinion.
So lesson here is life isn't fair and neither is the HR department, so go lightly on your Facebook posts people or use an alias that would not be so easy to figure out. Now go on, delete all your drunk posts from this weekend and have yourself a fabulous Monday.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
For the Love of God, Call!
It's been raining for days in Arizona...I personally LOVE it, but some others may not... Being that this week is a Suicide Awareness Week and if you are reading this and know someone that suffers from depression and or may be thinking of harming themselves know that there is help out there... nationwide and specifically for Arizona.
Also, call that person, do not text or email, CALL, speak to them, you never know how much good you may do.
Now, as for me until they invent homicide hotline, I am beyond help (or perhaps they have those, hmmm, not sure, I see research in my near future).
On a lighter note, seriously about the whole texting thing it is out of damn control, seriously. Does anyone pick up a phone anymore????
The other day I had plans with my, I thought good friend, for lunch, he initiated it. Well, the day of came and I sent a text confirming (I know after I just lectured about calling, but we had plans, this was just a confirmation text) and this MOFO, that is NEVER without his phone (besides being attached to it with an invisible umbilical cord, runs his business off of it) never replied. Until, 9pm that is...his excuse..."left my phone at buddy's house", STFU! Who leaves their phone anywhere these days?! We go to take a dump and bring our phone with, go to bed the damn thing is right by our head emitting those cancerous rays towards our useless brains...we'd leave our firstborn before we'd leave our God damn phone somewhere. I can tell you that is pathetic state of things for us humans these days.
So stop fucking around on the internet and go call someone just because you can, tell them something good, something bad, indiferent, who the hell cares...it'll brighten your and their day! Now go be social and really connect to those that matter to you.
Also, call that person, do not text or email, CALL, speak to them, you never know how much good you may do.
Now, as for me until they invent homicide hotline, I am beyond help (or perhaps they have those, hmmm, not sure, I see research in my near future).
On a lighter note, seriously about the whole texting thing it is out of damn control, seriously. Does anyone pick up a phone anymore????
The other day I had plans with my, I thought good friend, for lunch, he initiated it. Well, the day of came and I sent a text confirming (I know after I just lectured about calling, but we had plans, this was just a confirmation text) and this MOFO, that is NEVER without his phone (besides being attached to it with an invisible umbilical cord, runs his business off of it) never replied. Until, 9pm that is...his excuse..."left my phone at buddy's house", STFU! Who leaves their phone anywhere these days?! We go to take a dump and bring our phone with, go to bed the damn thing is right by our head emitting those cancerous rays towards our useless brains...we'd leave our firstborn before we'd leave our God damn phone somewhere. I can tell you that is pathetic state of things for us humans these days.
So stop fucking around on the internet and go call someone just because you can, tell them something good, something bad, indiferent, who the hell cares...it'll brighten your and their day! Now go be social and really connect to those that matter to you.
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