Deal Breakers And Other Little Quirks

As I mentioned, I think, I am single...come to think of it last time I had a serious relationship (over 2 weeks long) was right before jail time, 2 years ago (more on that later).
In all honesty, I've been successfully staying out of adult relationships most of my life. I am not against them, but I will not settle and I just may have pretty high expectations of other human beings and hold them to unattainable standards. Also, when you lived on your own for as long as I have (going on 11 years), you get set in your ways and it may not be a walk in the park for a man to fit in.
However, while all this stands true, there are the deal breakers...they may not be a deal breakers for you, but they are for me...yes, this post will be edited a lot as well. (And yes, I am aware that I am shallow.)
I will run some of my relationship unrelated idiosyncrasies by you as well, for good measure.

GTR 

Gum to tooth ratio (yes, I watch Family Guy). For the love of everything go have that fixed, it's a simple procedure and not that pricey, regardless. It freaks me out...that is all I focus on. Great personality, intelligence, good looks...none of it matters as I am that shallow. End of story.

Being Cheap 

Don't get me wrong I LOVE a great deal, I don't believe in paying a full price for shoes or clothes ever. However, there's a huge difference in being frugal and being cheap.
One time I went out with this guy, who at the time worked as an executive at a major lending institution making great money, long story short we were late for a concert and he was hungry, so we met at some place nearby and he was the only one eating...bill came to $14.95. He gave our waitress $15 and told her to keep the change. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, snuck our waitress a $5 and left him there. I never returned any of his calls after that...what?! I'd have to drink Popov instead of Stoly if we went out?! I don't think so.

Irregardless

Not.A.Word. Yes I know that dictionaries all over the place are accepting it as a non-standard version of regardless...I say if you think that is a word and would like to use it while having a conversation with me, please do me a favor and kill me. Read a book, start small like "The Cat In The Hat".

Irregardless is not a proper word, regardless of what you may believe. Please explain to me what it means then, 'cause if regular means one thing and irregular opposite of that, how can regardless and irregardless mean the same. Regardless, I don't care about your explanation stop using it!!!

LOL

Not a moody teenage girl??? Stop using it. Text "ha ha" or "that's funny"...do not LOL me.

 PDAs

Also known as public displays of affection. Annoying...makes others uncomfortable and unless we are gonna get it on...hands off buddy. What are we teenagers in heat...there's a bed for that, no need to sneak around and grope in public when we are nearing 40. May as well lift your leg and pee on me to mark your territory, why don't you?! 

 Not Returning Texts

You know those people (men or women) that are constantly on their phones, texting, tweeting, facebooking, whatever it is they are doing,  and once you send them a text half a day later you get a reply...RUDE. I'd rather get a text that said "F*** OFF" than some crap 20 hours later. Seriously. Drives me nuts. 

People That Do Not Wave When You Let Them Merge In Front Of You

I mean really dude?! With your driving merging skills you'd be on the side of the road two days later and then you do not wave...I mean wtf?! And yes, I know I should just be nice out of the goodness of my heart and not expect anything in return...that's why I give money to homeless...merging, different story!

Talking At The Gym

OK so unless you need help using equipment STFU! No we are not friends, we will never be friends, I don't want to discuss what I'm doing or have chats about your goals...family...drama...job.. whatever the hell. I am here to workout so EFF OFF!!! And rack your damn weights!