So you know how I quit drinking a while back?! I am not sure if I mentioned it, but I am way too lazy to read through my nineteen blogs to check. Anyhow...it's been about 2-3 years...no I am not one of those 2 years, 8 months, 16 days, 13 hours, 7 minutes and 53 seconds people. I just quit drinking...why? Well it was either driving or drinking...and I had to get to work to support my shopping habits, so naturally drinking had to go.
But you know what else I quit, when I quit drinking?! SEX...I quit having sex! Why?! Well, I could no longer drink my suitors interesting to sit through the date and make it to the good part. Dates! Hell, I can't even get a date anymore....that may have something to do with me being socially awkward and not knowing the rules of "the game".
My friends believe that I was born without the "flirt part" of my brain, since according to them I can never tell when someone is hitting on me. Following text interaction is proof apparently.
Me to my good guy friend: "A guy at the gym just told me he likes my hair...was he hitting on me?"
My friend: "You're a dork...yes! Guys don't notice hair."
Me: "Well, I am sorry but my hair looks awesome thanks to my fabulous hair dresser. Plus, I thought for a second perhaps he was gay."
My friend: "You are an idiot...and you'll be single forever. Way to blow it."
Be that as it may, and perhaps I am a bit slow when it comes to those things, but what kind of fucking opener was that??? No really, what was I supposed to say..."Oh you like my hair...great here's my phone number...let's do it." Men!
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