Sensodyne Sucks!...Miracle Whip Too

This morning I noticed, I am out of toothpaste. No problem, I got travel size Sensodyne I got from my dentist last time I was there. Well, I brushed my teeth with it...I can assure you that baking soda tastes better (I've done that before, so I actually know). I mean wtf? You know why your teeth aren't sensitive? Cause they are not clean either. That layer of filth covering them acts as preventative layer from any sensitivity you may have to cold, hot, sweet, whatever. Freaking gross.

I am all about trying out new things, but when it comes to toothpaste give me my Colgate with all the flouride and minty artificial taste my body can handle.

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Also, wtf is up with Miracle Whip? I stated before that I am from former Yugoslavia, where we have and love mayo. Yes, we eat mayo sandwiches....precisely, just bread and mayo and it is delicious (until I discovered my allergy to eggs, besides the point).

So when we moved to the USA, I set out on a little grocery shopping adventure. I spoke English...British English. See you put a word like miracle on the can and pardon me but I expect something fabulous...followed by the word whip...ummmm whip cream is the first thing that comes to mind. Yeah, do you see the logic behind my reasoning and where this train wreck is headed?!

Let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing miraculous about the vile substance contained in the jar of Miracle Whip. It's sour, like it's gone bad, with some sweet undertones, just plain disturbing. As for the whip part of it...I think they just wanted to fuck with us. I imagine that mod podge is more palatable. Who was the joker that invented that crap? And who buys it? Wtf is it anyhow? Sick.